Let's Just Be Honest People

Have you ever seen the movie "Apollo 13"?  I'm not sure why, but I've seen it about 20 times.  Anyways, there's a scene where the astronauts were all buckled in their spaceship, getting ready to blast off to the moon, possibly into oblivion and the news reporters are interviewing their wives.  One of the wives had been through the whole ordeal before and the other one was brand new to the terrifying experience.  Right before the reporters arrived, the wise, older wife smiled confidently and said to the younger, "remember, you're proud, happy and thrilled."  Guess what the younger wife said when asked how she was feeling?  Yep.  She was proud, happy and THRILLED!

Really?? Why couldn't she just tell the truth?  "I'm pregnant, terrified and about to throw up... but I'm also very proud."



I just found a really cute blog this morning and read an article by a funny lady.  She was giving her honest response to some dumb questions that people sent to a magazine.  But before she did that, she mentioned that she was being plagued by the perimenopausal symptom of insomnia and had been up most of the night.  And that she felt sortof bitter because of it.  I don't know why I appreciated that so much.  Maybe because I can relate.  Maybe because she was braver than me.

I usually just try to stay in my shell when I'm in a bad mood.  I'm already sortof a hermit-y person.  I figure that nobody wants to hear me complain and if I ain't got nothin' nice to say, I should just wait until I do.  I'll just wait until I'm "proud, happy and thrilled!"  But that's really only half of the story.  Sometimes I'm sad, lonely and want to quit.  Sometimes I'm mad, cranky and pissed-off.  Pretty terrible, right?  No.  You're not surprised at all, are you?  In fact, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Did you know that mature Christians who love God and want to do the right thing sometimes feel that way?

Well they do.  And it doesn't make me a heathen, either.  

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that being honest seems to be a lost art in our culture.  It's easy to lie on camera, on the stage ... or online.  If you hung out with me every day, you'd know that I'm a tad bi-polar.  I'm not crazy.  Just moody and artistic and affected by the weather.  I still try to do the right thing, regardless of my mood.  But my facebook status updates usually disappear during those times.  And I can't think of anything funny or happy or wonderful to say on my blog.  I still love my family and God.  I don't cuss anybody out.  Usually.  But I sure could use a friend during those times, too.  You know what I mean.  And I feel so encouraged just knowing that other people are going through the same sort of valleys.  That I'm not alone.  We've all been there, done that.

This crazy explosion of social media seems to give us the impression that everything's roses.  At least in everybody ELSE'S life.  But it's not.  It's just as hard as it ever was, probably harder.  If you only saw that news clip of the astronaut's wife, you might think she's a wonder woman.  And you sure wouldn't think to call her up and encourage her.  But she needed it more than ever.

Sometimes I am proud, happy and thrilled.  I love those days.  I praise God for those days. But sometimes I'm not.  It rains on the just and the unjust alike.  Sometimes it's raining here.  I still praise God, but I'm not too happy or thrilled.  I'm just going to try to be more honest about it.  Would you be too disappointed if you knew the truth?

--jen