W. W. ?. D.

Remember the old WWJD days?  Yep, been there, done that, even got the T shirt.  When faced with a dilemma, you were supposed to ask yourself, "What would Jesus Do?", and then you'd supposedly know what to do.  Sounds pretty straightforward, right?  Only one major problem... Jesus was a single guy.

As a young mom, I remember trying to make it work.  I know that Jesus would be patient and kind, etc.  And we have lots of examples of how He handled various dilemmas.  But what about marriage?? Child training?? I needed some serious help back then, and I still do.

What I really needed was an older woman.

I needed to be able to ask, "What Would Mom Do?" or "What Would Grandma Do?" Problem is that my own mom, grandma, aunts and siblings weren't around.  Six weeks after my first baby was born, I moved with my new little family to a military base twelve hours away from every single person I knew.  There I was clueless and alone.   What would Jesus do?  Hmmmm.   Ask for help!  I found some kind older ladies who had mercy on me and took me in.  I also read LOTS of books!

Back in the day when people didn't move around so much, communities were closer. Young moms were surrounded by good examples.  These days, it might take some searching.  If you happen to live close by wise, older relatives, then by all means, turn to those ladies for your example.  But if you don't, find someone you want to be like when you're older, and imitate her.

I was talking with a young mom the other day who was telling me that she wished that she could come be a fly on my wall.  She wanted to observe how we do things, but didn't want to be any trouble.  I remember feeling that same way.  Like my babies would be disruptive to someone with no babies.  I've just gotta say... How in the heck are we supposed to learn if we can't get right in there and observe??

When I was younger, I was blessed with a wise friend who was a few years and a couple of babies ahead of me on the same road.  She used to welcome me into her home and let me talk her ear off.  The whole time I was able to observe her household.  It was not perfect. (Sometimes I would show up just to clean her bathroom.)  But it was GOOD.  She was honest about her struggles, and that gave me a realistic perspective...something that we don't get from TV, magazines or even Christian books.  Being there is what mattered to me.  I'm sure my little kids were annoying, but she never let me know it.  We worked through all sorts of struggles.  You know-- Why is my husband being such a butt-head?  What should I spank these kids with? When do I teach phonics?  How do I cut up a chicken?  --- basic woman stuff.

Here's me and a dear friend figuring out how to cut up chickens together. 

I've been blessed with a handful of kind older ladies in my life.  Some were very organized.  I learned to manage my household from them.  Others were very hospitable.  I learned to always welcome drop-in visitors from them.  Some were country women.  They inspired me.

According to Titus 2:3,4, one of the PRIMARY roles of older women is to train the younger.  Train them to do what?  "...to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands..."  These are skills that are seriously lacking in our society.

Verse 4 in Titus goes on to say that the young women need to learn these things so that "no one will malign the word of God."  Now that's pretty serious business!  We're not talking about perfection here.  No Suzy Homemaker.  Just honest-to-goodness, nitty gritty stuff.  Like staying married, raising well behaved kids, managing your home.  The credentials for an older woman to be qualified to teach aren't too tough, either.  Just don't be a drunk or a gossip.  If you're an older woman with a really messy bathroom but you don't go out partying or go around gossiping, you love your husband and children, and you love the Lord, you probably fit the bill. There's a young woman out there who needs you.

That young lady might just be asking the question, "What Would SHE Do?"

Don't be afraid to invite her over and show her.

Happy visiting,
jen