Training Horses and Kids

 

People who train horses really amaze me.  A well-trained horse is such a joy to own, but I don't know a thing about how to train them.  I just know from experience that a horse that has been properly trained can be ridden just about anywhere with very little stress.  A well-trained horse trusts its owner and almost always willingly follows commands. You don't need to be afraid of being bucked or kicked or bitten when you are around a well-trained horse.  You can bathe, brush, feed and lead a well-trained horse with very little trouble.  It's actually enjoyable.


When I was thirteen, I got my first official horse.  My very own registered quarter horse.  I had owned ponies before then, but I always shared with my sisters and the pony usually had behavior problems before we got it.  But my very own horse was a different story.  She was young and sweet and very well-trained.  I could ride her anywhere.  She could obey the slightest command.  Needless to say, I rode her constantly.

But as time wore on and I got busier....she spent more time out in the pasture doing her own thing and I barely spent any time with her, except for necessary chores.  What do you think happened when I finally decided to ride her? Yep, you guessed it.  UNtraining had happened while I wasn't around.  She no longer trusted me as her boss.  She thought she should be her own boss.  That is not a fun horse to ride.

Because it was so difficult to ride her, I rode less and less.  And she became more and more difficult.  Vicious cycle.  And because I was so clueless about horse training, I would just look for the nearest tree with a good switch and lay into her.  I know that sounds terrible.  But that's what bad "training" looks like.  I was kicking her and yanking on her reins, she'd buck and rear and scare my mother to death.  I'd switch her rump and she'd straighten up for about a minute and then the whole circus would replay.  We'd both be completely frustrated.  I'd pull off her saddle in a big temper tantrum and she'd run right back out into the field, as far away from me as possible.  Bummer.

Now you know my total ignorance of horsemanship.  It's pathetic, I know.  I never really tried to learn back then.  I guess I thought it should come naturally.  But you just can't bully a horse.

Thankfully, I have learned a lot since then.  I don't have any horses right now, but I do have a small herd of a different kind of animal...

children.

Turns out, they're not that different!  Let's rewrite that first paragraph:

"People who effectively train children really inspire me.  A well-trained child is such a joy to (be around),  since I have learned how to train them.  I know from experience that a child that has been properly trained can be taken just about anywhere with very little stress.  A well-trained child trusts his parents and almost always willingly follows commands. You don't need to be afraid of being (sassed), (embarrassed) or bitten when you are around a well-trained child.  You can bathe, (dress), feed and lead a well-trained child with very little trouble.  It's actually enjoyable."

Surprisingly similar, right?

Children are always being trained--  whether right or wrong.  When I was busy smacking and switching my horse,  I was training.  But the result of my training was a horse that became a terror.  So spanking alone is obviously NOT effective training.  Neither is yelling and bullying.  It doesn't work on horses and it won't work on children.  Neglect combined with random spanking sessions will only create resentment and frustration.  Just in case you were wondering, I totally believe in spanking as PART of child training.  But it is not the whole thing.  Effective training is a skill.   It is purposeful, time consuming and requires endless patience.  But it is possible.  And it is so worth it.

If you happen to have a child or two, it is well worth your time to learn.