And I have this weird inability to express emotions at the "normal" time. So, I didn't cry when we unpacked his suitcase. Or when we drove away from campus. I just keep it all inside and start working really hard on some random project in order to take my mind off of how I really feel. That's probably not healthy, right?
And if you've already gone through this, you'd tell me that it will get better. And I know you're right. And if you haven't, then you don't know how it feels. You just know that the day will come some day for you, too. And you wonder how it will feel. And you hold your little ones a little closer.
Because if you've home schooled that kid his whole life. And been together every single day for eighteen years. And then he moves away. And your other kids start rearranging the bedrooms and packing away his stuff. And there's one less plate at the dinner table. And someone else mentions that we have eight people in our family now instead of nine. Well, that's some freaky stuff, right there.
So, that's why I'm freaking out.
Even if it is only on the inside.
And I know it will get better.
It will.
But for now...
It's a bummer.
hey jen, i feel ya. i remember when the boys left to go to college. that was 12 years ago. i wasnt able to hold it in, i cried. what really helped me get through was knowing that our God was with them. through the years ive seen how God has watched over them for me. Now that is how big our God is and im very thankful.
ReplyDeleteyes it is hard and a bummer, for some reason us moms seem to take it differently then the rest of the family. humm wonder why?
I'm right there with you! Staying busy helps but then I do things like call Hilary downstairs to do the dishes (her long standing chore) and I start crying. It does feel like I'm in mourning, there's this giant hole in my heart and knowing she's only an hour away doesn't help- she's not right here where I know she's okay and part of our family. Praying continuously is helping too. I was hoping it gets better but Angela M. just told me her son is 24, living in Seattle and she still cries every time he calls- I think our children own a piece of our hearts and as long as we're apart we'll feel that pain :(
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