It's A Bummer

Sorry I haven't written much lately.  I'm taking this whole college thing alot harder than I expected.  It feels too much like a funeral.  I know he's busy and if he needs me he'll call.  But, dude, it's hard.  H-A-R-D.


 And I have this weird inability to express emotions at the "normal" time.  So, I didn't cry when we unpacked his suitcase.  Or when we drove away from campus.  I just keep it all inside and start working really hard on some random project in order to take my mind off of how I really feel.  That's probably not healthy, right?

And if you've already gone through this, you'd tell me that it will get better.  And I know you're right.  And if you haven't, then you don't know how it feels.  You just know that the day will come some day for you, too.  And you wonder how it will feel.  And you hold your little ones a little closer.

Because if you've home schooled that kid his whole life.  And been together every single day for eighteen years.  And then he moves away.  And your other kids start rearranging the bedrooms and packing away his stuff.  And there's one less plate at the dinner table.  And someone else mentions that we have eight people in our family now instead of nine.  Well, that's some freaky stuff, right there.

So, that's why I'm freaking out.

Even if it is only on the inside.

And I know it will get better.

It will.

But for now...

It's a bummer.