Surviving Relatives

We've done almost all the shopping.  We've baked our cookies and decorated our tree.  We've planned our menus.  So, now that we're almost there...only a few days to go...it's time for a whole new Christmas challenge.

Relatives.

Yeah, all those people that you love and hate at the same time.

That you miss like crazy, but who drive you crazy when you're with them.



Lord, help us!

If you've got a nice extended family, where everyone is loving and kind, where no one is competitive or sarcastic and you leave feeling happily blessed, well, I think you might be the exception.  Or maybe you're just having a good year.  Pray for the rest of us, we need all the help we can get!
I've spent a lot of time lately talking with friends who are having a hard time with relatives.  Maybe the holidays bring out the worst in us.  Maybe it's just that we all have to be together and don't really like each other very much.  Whatever the case, it's a shame.

I wish I had a sure-fire cure... Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat.  It's a real bummer.  I know I'm not supposed to cuss.  That would be bad.  Besides, It's Christmas!  But some people  are downright hurtful.  Most of the time, in families, it's subtle jabs.  Little comments that hurt worse than a flick from a damp tea towel.  They leave you shocked and confused.  Why would someone who is supposed to love you, want to hurt you?  I know that sometimes I'm being a jerk myself, so I'm really asking for it.  But, other times, I'm doing my darndest to be kind and generous and loving. That's when the worst attacks seem to come.  Why?

First of all, we need to recognize who the real enemy is.

"for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Eph. 6:12



Yeah, it's a bummer, but there's some real bad guys out there trying to wreck our holiday and destroy our relationships. We're gonna have to keep our guard up.  See it for what it is and take a stand.  And PRAY.

We can't always blame the devil, though.  People can be mean on their own, sometimes. What do we do then?


"Count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me.  What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable.  You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!--for though they don't like it, I do!  And all heaven applauds.  And know that you are in good company." 

Jesus knows what it feels like.  He was despised and rejected, but He did not fight back. He loves it when we follow His example.  Can you imagine "all heaven applauding"??? WOW.

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.'  I'm challenging that.  I'm telling you to love your enemies.  Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. "


It may seem like a stretch to think of relatives as "enemies", but sometimes they aren't even close to the "friend" category.  Friends don't put you down for no reason.  Friends don't speak lies about you.   If they did, they would no longer be considered friends.  But relatives, well, we're kindof stuck with each other.  And there are seasons in any relationship that are ugly.  Unresolved issues from the past combined with unmet expectations are a recipe for disaster.  How should we respond?

  "When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. "    Matthew 5, the Message

For me, this has been the ONLY thing that helps.  Go figure, the Bible works!  ; )

Pray, pray, PRAY for them.  Pray some more.  Don't pray for God to change them.  Pray for God to BLESS them.  I can't explain how it works, but it does!  The only time the turkeys really start to get me down is when I forget to pray for them.  That's the only way that I can find peace.  Peace with people, peace with God.  Sometimes I've just got to go upstairs and take a "nap" or go for a walk---gotta PRAY.  Then things get put back in perspective and I don't need to react so much.  My Father in heaven understands.  That's what matters.

It helps to put things in perspective:

1. Recognize who the true enemy is.
2. The truth makes some people uncomfortable.
3. Let mean people bring out the best in you.
4. Pray!
5. Pray some more.

At least that's my plan.

Have a blessed Christmas!
Go forth and conquer!  (just kidding)
; )

jen