Tip Tuesday: A Handy "Spanker"

Hey there!  I just got back from vacation this past week and now school is in full swing so I haven't had much time to talk with you guys.  I missed ya!  I'll post a bunch of pictures as soon as our Mac gets back from the doc.... again.  Yeah, now there's a tip for ya...  macs are great and very user-friendly--when they're working.  But, if they break, it's gonna be expensive and you sure can't do-it-yourself.  So, I'm on a borrowed pc, yet again.  And all of my pictures are out there in limbo somewhere.  But that's all beside the point, right?

So....what's up with this "spanker"?

 

I don't mind tellin' ya that I've been at this whole spanking business for quite a few years now.  I've tried a lot of different methods.  And just because I'm almost completely done with the whole ordeal, I feel pretty safe mentioning on the world wide web that I am a wholeheartedly FOR spanking.  These days I rarely need to spank. PTL!  But not so long ago, I was at it at leeeeaaassst once a day, usually more. I've got a whole bunch of kids, you know, seven to be exact.  That's enough for one spank per day, with each kid only getting it once a week!  I read so many books about child-training, it made my head swim.  And everybody's got their methods of when to spank, how to spank, why to spank, etc.  The problem is that rarely do they tell you WHAT to spank with.  You know that you really shouldn't use your hand.  But it's so darn handy!  And a paddle seems like it would cause spinal misalignment, which would not be helpful.  Some things just plain don't hurt enough to get results... like a wooden spoon on jeans. 

So here's my tip....  Go buy one of these cheap plastic windmill things.  Tear off the windmill part.  Hold the end with the little pokey thing sticking out.  And give three quick flicks with this flexible plastic stick.  You will get amazing results and find yourself spanking much less often.

There's a lot more to the process, of course.  But that's the gist of it.  And once you know that you don't have to be mad or put any force behind this thing to get results, the whole spanking process goes a whole lot more smoothly.  With a lot less drama. Also, mom or dad can get the exact same results... since it's not related to strength.  And that is a good thing.

Be sure to try it on yourself first, though.  Give your hand or leg a quick flick just so you know what you're dealing with.  That way you can swat age-appropriately.  Hopefully that makes sense?  Does that even make sense?  Do you think I'm a super mean mommy now?  Gosh, I hope not.  But you know, we moms have got to help each other out with these things.  And based on how many terribly behaved, tantrum-throwing, annoying-the-crap-out-of-everyone, bratty kids I observed on our vacation, I'd say there needs to be a bit of a spanking revolution going down.